Lately, many negative articles have surfaced about black females, which includes a report from Okcupid. According to 2009 Census, seventy percent black women are single and forty-two percent have never been married in the U.S. So, what’s the taboo?
On May 15, 2011, Satoshi Kanazawa wrote in The Scientific Fundamentalist reasons why black women are considered less attractive. He explains that black women are heavier and less intelligent. He also states, “Black women are still less physically attractive than nonblack women net of BMI and intelligence” (Kanazawa, 2011). Of course, I do not believe his research derives from a plausible source, and it bewilders me that Kanazawa’s impertinence would be posted in Psychology Today. However, I wonder how many Americans share his opinion.
At 32 years old, I admit to have dedicated my twenties to obtaining two undergraduate degrees, while serving in armed forces and law enforcement. I even started a non-profit for at-risk juveniles. I have no children and have never been married. It’s so unfortunate that romance did not co-sign on my achievements… Now, my family is beginning to wonder if my over zealous drive for success was worth the wait on love, but they fail to see that I’ve done only what I’ve been taught, “Do better that us, daughter. Make sure you prosper so your children will not go without the things we could not supply for you.” Overall, my intentions were to set the standards for the next generation, and to make my family proud. I should mention that I am the second to obtain a degree on both, my mother and father side of the family.
I’m not intentionally making them wait for a wedding ceremony; however, I’m just not willing to settle. When I say settle, I’m not looking for simply–single and employed. I want a relationship with substance and physical attraction. Realistically, there are many great black men, but unavailable for various reasons; therefore, I decided that interracial dating would be an option. However, OKCupid.com found that black women received fewer responses than any other group, even though they sent the most messages.
Honestly, I find that I’m a genuine person with a positive outlook on life. I have a fun-loving side and a silly sense of humor. One of my best qualities is truthfulness. Bethenny Frankel says it even better in her book, A Place of Yes. She writes, “Owning it is about honesty, and copping to what you’ve done or said–no matter what. Some people say I take it too far. I am the queen of TMI. I sometimes over share or say inappropriate things in part to entertain people, in part to entertain myself–it’s my strange sense of humor. In some way, it makes me feel more real…” It’s important that I stay true to myself. Moreover, I’m serious about my faith, my family, and friends.
What I am looking for in a companion is what every girl wants: tall, dark, and handsome. Although, outer appearance is the first way to get my attention, the way to keep it is intelligences, kindness, and compassion. We all deserve that special someone who will accept our small flaws, supports our dreams, and help elevate our fullest potential.
Maybe, I’ll meet that special person one day.